You’re in a relationship and you really want to stay that way. But after you commit, things start to go wrong and before you know it, you’re sitting heartbroken in your room crying. Sound familiar? About 40-50% of married couples get divorced in the United States today. So what can you do to make sure you avoid adding to the dismal number? For starters, avoid these two common fatal mistakes.

Mistake Number 1: Forming a relationship because you feel you need it, not because you want it

Many people confuse need with want. When you need someone, you may be staying because you’re afraid to be alone, for financial security, or because you aren’t sure you can find anything better. When you want someone, no matter what happens, no matter how difficult it might be, you still want to stay. Then that’s love.

A common misconception is that people think that they need to find someone to feel complete. However no one can do that for you except yourself. One of the most important pre qualifications for getting and keeping a good relationship is your ability to be alone with yourself.

Mistake Number 2: Rebounding

Research suggests that rebounding happens because your brain craves an ex-partner similarly to the way that an addict’s brain craves a drug. You are quite literally going through withdrawal. You feel that you need someone to fill the gap left behind by your partner. Allowing yourself to rebound, however, is a surefire way to make yourself and your rebound partner miserable.

Next time when you find it hard to let go of the past and doubt if you should get back with your ex, remember this theory. Don’t make the same mistakes again. You will be much happier in life and in your relationships if you make an effort to break these common patterns.

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