Hey Black Cosmopolitans—today we’re talking about Tracee Ellis Ross.
Yes, the icon. The Emmy-nominated actress, director, fashion queen, and all-around inspiration who’s been reminding us that your life doesn’t need to follow anybody else’s timeline.
And now, in one of her most vulnerable interviews yet, Tracee is opening up about love, loneliness, and why settling just isn’t in her vocabulary.
She sat down with Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson on their new podcast, and dropped some gems that hit deep.
Tracee said:
“As much grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner… I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner. I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better. I’m not getting into a relationship just to say I’m in one.”
Let that sit with you for a second.
At 52, Tracee is saying yes—grief is real. There are moments where she wonders what life might’ve looked like. But she’s not about to trade her peace just for someone to fill a space.
That’s not just honest. That’s real.
She also called out the pressure so many women feel. By a certain age, you’re supposed to be married. Have kids. Be settled down. And if you’re not? People act like something’s wrong with you.
But Tracee said nah.
She shared how being single for most of her life taught her how to stand tall on her own. To not hide behind a relationship. And to move through the world fully formed—not waiting for someone else to validate her worth.
She’s not looking to be completed. She’s already whole.
Now when it comes to dating? Tracee kept it real—especially for women like her who are grown, accomplished, and clear about what they want.
She said dating apps aren’t her thing. She prefers meeting people in real life, especially folks who have just as much to lose as she does.
And when it comes to men her age? Tracee says many of them are still stuck in toxic masculinity. Raised to think love looks like control or outdated gender roles.
And she made it clear—she’s not here to raise a grown man.
In her words:
“I have been long past the age where I feel like it’s my job to teach somebody or grow them up.”
Say that again for the people in the back.
And social media? They were here for it. The comment section was full of love, support, and respect.
One person said, “The wrong partner can set you back in so many areas, so I overstand her stance.”
Another wrote, “I love how she said she wants a family—not just a baby. That’s a different level of honesty.”
And this one hit hard: “Imagine everything she’s walked away from… just because she knows her worth. I love that for her.”
But here’s the truth—this isn’t just about Tracee.
It’s about every woman—especially Black women—who’ve been made to feel like their time is up if they don’t follow the script.
Tracee Ellis Ross is showing us that your life can still be full. Joyful. Abundant. With or without a partner.
So what can we take from Tracee’s story?
Settling just to say you’re in a relationship? That’s not it.
Feeling grief and joy at the same time? That’s human.
Letting someone else define your path? Not a chance.
Whether love finds her next year, ten years from now, or never at all—Tracee is choosing herself.
And Black Cosmopolitans, that kind of self-respect? That’s the real win.
