Dr. Cheyenne Bryant believe men are more serious about relationships than women are and also explains her reasoning as to why women are okay with being side chicks.
While appearing on the February 21 episode of Justin LaBoy’s ‘#Respectfully’ podcast, life coach and relationship expert Dr. Cheyenne Bryant discussed modern dating, one night stands, side chicks, toxic cycles, family and family trauma, and much more.
Together, Bryant and LaBoy speak candidly about how upbringing shapes our current “situationships,” like women being okay with assuming the roles of side chicks of already-taken men. Dr. Bryant also admits that although she’s always going to bat for women, she believes men are actually more serious about relationships and settling down nowadays.
During the show, LaBoy asked Bryant, “Who’s more delusional right now, men or women?” She replied:
“Oh, that’s a great question. Women, y’all know, I stand on a mountaintop for you, especially black women. But I gotta say this. I meet better men nowadays than I meet women. And that’s just the truth. There are so many men nowadays who are ready to be married, who are ready to be family men, who are standing on principles, who are really into and relational with the women that they’re dating.
And I meet a lot of women who want to play the field, who want to be more of a—we have womanizers, but we do have women who are manizers. And when you start to look at women who want a man to just perform, which goes into the same as gold-digging, that’s a woman who is considered a manizer.
And unfortunately, I meet a lot more men who are like, ‘Doc, I’m ready to get married,’ or, ‘I’m ready for the next step.’ And women who either are not there yet, or they’re saying they’re there yet, but their behavior that they’re exhibiting and their inability to be able to nest in a man and allow him to lead her is not allowing the relationship to really take the course that the man is trying to lead them to.”
LaBoy also asked Bryant, “What do you think it is inside of women that allows them to be a side chick?” Dr. Bryant replied:
“That’s a self-love deficit, a self-worth deficit. That’s a daddy issue, a parental issue. Some women have mommy issues. We don’t talk about that enough. They are so resentful toward their mothers that any woman that they can tear down is a representation of them tearing down the mother that they’ve been mad at.
And so if I could sleep with your man, knowing that that’s going to dismantle you, when I really want to be able to dismantle my mother—who either abandoned me, who wasn’t there, who mistreated me, who abused me, or who I have this resentment toward—then guess what? Every woman from that point on is just going to get it.
And it’s unfortunate because we blame women’s bad decision-making or their misbehaving on daddy issues. But we don’t talk about how there’s mommy issues that women have as well. We always put mommy issues on men. But when a woman has resentment towards her mother—because again, they felt like the mom didn’t show up in a way that she should have—then that woman has it out for other women, and that’s easier for her to get into positions of being second. Also, daddy issues, right? If she’s never had a father dote on her, love on her, and choose her, that means that any choosing that she gets for her is what? Valid.”
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